Thinkings

When we lived at Home in the 50s/60s me Mum never bought packets of biscuits but she did buy broken-biscuits which would be bought loose,say half a pound at a time, from a big tin in the local Grocers.Typically,we'd go for the chocolate ones and the bits of Bourbons first,though we weren't allowed to take food from the cupboard without asking.After that we'd tuck in to the other less interesting biscuits and finally,when no choice was left,we'd grab finger-fulls of the biscuit dust 'till there was nothing left and then have to wait until the stock was replenished........

I remember being maybe 9 or 10 years old in the early sixties and being sent over the shops,just across our road,with a list of things me Mum or Dad needed.....A typical list at the small grocer's shop would include:- 1 "Seven O'clock" razor blade. 2 eggs.5 Woodbines.1 Jeyes toilet roll (as a treat! compared to newspaper) 2 rashers of bacon (you had to choose the thickness you wanted).A little lump of cheese cut to the size you wanted (small!).Half a pound of broken biscuits. 2oz of cherries (sticky...out of a jar).Then sometimes to the garage to get a few .410 shotgun cartridges for me Dad.To the post-office to choose a Knife from the display board they had,everything from the "Tiny" to various sheaf-knives depending how flushed you were.Quite often to the paper-shop to get 20 "Guards" for me Dad and sometimes there'd be reps in there,trying to push a new brand, who'd give a few free fags out to take home and on a rare occasion I'd be

Nowadays with almost everyone having a mobile phone we've become used to being able to make contact at will or make or receive a txt after even the shortest journey!but it wasn't always like that...... In 1972 our family went on a two week camping trip in Europe visiting France,Belgium,Luxembourg.Germany and Austria. My Mum and Dad,Brother and Sisters were in the Ford Zodiac towing our Sprite Major Caravan and I followed on my red and chrome BSA C15 250cc motorbike. My motorbike ran ok except for a couple of incidents....a puncture/split tyre as we approached the border of Luxembourg and a massive concrete pipe falling off of the back of a lorry just in front of the bike which luckily bounced over me,as we attempted to scale a hill to go into Switzerland. After the two weeks were up we eventually got back to Ramsgate where we would catch the Hovercraft back to England.When it was our turn to board,probably around midnight,my chain and sprockets were so worn that I only just

twitter...that platform of the pessimists where they pedal doom and gloom where there's little room for optimists or happiness to bloom.... where opinion is one-sided and unless you follow suit you'll be ridiculed,derided as the flock attempt to mute......

Our Shed started life in around 1984 when me and my Dad bought it new for a job we were doing in Marlow in the grounds of a big house adjacent to the Church.We were to rebuild a Victorian summer-house which had burnt down at some point and the original brick and concrete base sat right by the side of the Thames with the Complete Angler opposite across the river and the suspension bridge close by. The shed measuring 6'x 4' x 6'6" high,was to be our site -office for the duration of the job and some weeks later when the summer-house was completed the shed was dismantled and eventually erected in our back garden at home in Maidenhead. During the following few years it was used for tools and storage but in 1991 the shed was repurposed.That year "The Darling Buds of May" was shown on ITV and we,like millions of others,watched each week the Larkins adventures in and around their farm in Kent.The kids,after watching,decided we should sell up and buy a Farm,so I com

I've just started reading "Vintage Roger"by Roger Mortimer and there's mention of an officer being killed in the battle of  Keren which reminded me of something my Dad told me...... Sometime around 1947/48 my Dad,after time in Egypt and Burma with the 2nd Battalion Royal Berkshire regiment,ended up in Eritrea,East Africa camped up in the capital Asmara on the civilian Airport. Among the many tales he recounted he told me of time spent in Keren where "there had been a hell of a battle during the War".........some 4000 British and Indian Soldiers were killed or wounded in the fight for Keren against the Italians who eventually surrendered on March 27th 1941...... "I picked up a boot and tipped the bones out"

I the early 80s my Mum and Dad went to Windsor Safari Park,a place we'd all been to quite a few times.It was a baking hot day and with picnic packed they set off with me Dad looking forward to his ploughman's and an ice cold pint of Tenant's Super he'd taken with him. As soon as they arrived they found a picnic table as me Dad by this time was desperate for a "cold one".While me Mum unpacked their picnic he got his glass out and poured his Lager carefully and stared at the dew forming on the side of the glass like that scene in "Ice Cold in Alex". Not being able to wait a moment longer he reached out for his drink at the same time as me Mum swung around with his Ploughman's and knocked his drink straight off the table! After apparently calling her a clumsy person! or something to that effect,the day became rather soured.......

I had a note from Amazon my e-books have borne fruit someone's read a book or two they're sending me some loot.... "We'll pay in your Bank account" the statement came today I'm going to book a Holiday! 'cause six-pence came my way.....

When I ran my Cycle Shop in town,one of my customers was a local Doctor who had a very old,worn and tatty racing bike which he expected me to perform "miracles" on without him spending too much money! He was quite a regular particularly when he was off to France again,taking the bike with him.On one such occasion he brought it in for a "check up" and told me to do what I could.....but there wasn't much I COULD do as he was,as ever,reluctant to part with the cash.... When he came back at lunch-time to collect,he was with a Doctor colleague and asked me for the verdict......I told him it was beyond help,"but take this (I gave him a tin of WD40) and spray it on three times a day and if it's no better in a week,come back and see me!".........

I've always been a Ginger nut 'though a Bourbon was much safer but I met a lovely girl one day and-went for her Pink Wafer After a nice Rich Tea,we dated and I found her quite suggestive and she loved a drop of Malted Milk if I showed her my Digestive We married shortly after but came home to find her sobbin' so I gave her one of my Jaffa Cakes and we shared some good Hob 'nobbin' Things are running smoothly now and we've taken in a lodger and-with her being-partial to Custard Cream we've had a little Jammie Dodger But I've had to throw the lodger out he was odd and used to linger and I caught him with the wife last night and he had a Chocolate Finger!......

We used to build a Trolley.from wood and old-pram-wheels. We used to cast a fishing-line.and wait for spinning reels. We used to catch some tadpoles,and keep them in a jar. We used to jot-down number-plates,of every passing car. We used to walk through woods and fields,and maybe feed a Horse. We used to be Apaches,and run through moorland gorse. We used to end up scratched and cut,but that was par-for-course. We used to be a Cowboy,and wear a Sheriff's badge. We used to visit relatives,for food that we might cadge. We used to go for picnics.and eat a lovely spread. We used to clean Dad's motor-car,that,or go to bed! We used to go up,to-the-Bridge,and watch for puffs of steam. We used to bike for miles and miles,and throw-stones-in-a stream. We used to climb up Apple trees,and pinch a little fruit. We used to wander Farmers' fields,and watch the 'keepers shoot. We used to rifle birds-nests,and take some eggs for blowing. We used to build big snowballs,in the winter af

It sat there on the basin through all our years at School that little bit of rock hard soap for which,there was no call...... That wrinkled-red-Carbolic-block bewildered and confused as-us-lot never washed our hands so-the-thing was never used...... 'though,once a piece was broken off and a new-kid who was starting was made to eat the little lump then got caned for too-much farting....... When-we-came-back from the holidays a new-term,all the stress it had some green-stuff growing out which tasted just like Cress!...... That dirty,tiny,bit of soap stayed -at school ,like us,for years and that new kid went completely deaf when they stuck some in his ears Well,the soap just sat there lonely as the school-years dragged on by but that new-kid hadn't forgotten the boy who made him cry...... And one day on the playing field with that boy laid on the grass the carbolic-kid,with his powerful lens burnt a sunbeam on his arse..

In Jersey (Channel Islands) they have the German Underground Hospital , Tunnels and other Military Installations built during WW2 by the Germans using Slaves ....part of their #history and a major Tourist Attraction .......

when lockdown 's over and there's work and beer we'll probably find we're protest clear.....

The mob heave-hoed the rope was tight the Police stood back and gave the 'light A final tug beside the quay came crashing down Democracy .......

A few years ago I was in the Isle of Man during TT week.On popping to a shop in Douglas one evening,I noticed a statue of George Formby  "leaning on a lamp-post" and it occurred to me now that with the "furore"  regarding statues of famous and/or historical figures being removed and the bandwagon now being jumped on by some,that George might need protecting from a mob of Ukulele hating thugs who may topple him with their ropes and throw him into the Irish Sea off of Douglas. They may have walked by him for years seething with anger and hatred for what George stands for in the world of Ukuleles and with fashion being what it is,feel now is the time to rid history of this plucking person. But ...will it make any difference if George Formby is torn form his lamp-post and  ends up in Davy Jones's Locker?......NO not the slightest as those who've never heard of him won't give him a second thought and those of us who DO know of  Mr Formby will STILL know....

Garden I've got Daisies but no Dahlias,Dandelions but no Delphiniums,Buttercups but no Begonias,Grasses but no Geraniums,Nettles but no Narcissus,Ground-Elder but no Gardenia,Ivy but no Iris.... But I've got Birds and Bees an Butterflies A Haven but no Hoe.........

I don't do mowing or such-like deeds I don't dead-head or mix-up feeds I have no need to scatter seeds my-garden's perfect full of weeds........

I was walking through town this morning and trying to adhere to Social-Distancing but it seemed I'd either become invisible or magnetic ,or both,as I constantly had to avoid those "blindly" walking towards me unable to see anyone other than themselves from their bubble .........

Some thirty or so years ago I managed to cadge a flight up in a powered hang-glider from White Waltham Airfield.As we sat in the aircraft waiting for take off the pilot asked me if I'd been up in one before and I told him I hadn't but the week previously I'd been up in a Pitts Special while the pilot did acrobatics......"You mean aerobatics?" he replied......"I thought you meant he'd got out the cockpit and done somersaults on the wing while you were in  the air!!!"........

A few years ago me and the Wife set off on a drive to France for a holiday, with our final destination being Honfleur,down towards Le Havre.The first night we'd booked into a cottage on a farm somewhere in northern France and eventually found it after much searching,in the "middle of nowhere", just in time for dinner at the  farm-house. We went up to our cottage afterwards and after a while both felt tired enough from the drive for bed. The Wife had her bed side lamp on and both of us got in bed and read some pages of our books.I'd obviously quite quickly fallen asleep and woke again in what I assumed to be the middle of the night.I opened my eyes and everything was completely black,I couldn't see anything whatsoever. In a panic I sat up on the edge of the bed and shouted "I'VE GONE BLIND!"....."I CAN'T SEE!"....."I'VE GONE BLIND!!!" With that the Wife's bedside lamp came on and she shouted "WHAT'S THE MAT

The first "decent" car I bought was in 1975 .......an 850cc Austin Mini which was immaculate. The mini was very basic with wires you pulled down on the inside to open the doors,no heated rear window,no radio,no power-steering,no seat belts that I recall (or if there were,we never used them!),no wind-screen washers....those had to be fitted when they became law and were activated by pumping a little button on the floor with your foot. Security was non existent as the doors could be opened with more or less any key you could find. It could hold four people and had a tiny boot. You couldn't really have much of a conversation once it was up to speed as inside the car was very noisy. However,in 1977 we went camping in Devon in the Mini,during incredibly hot weather with me ,the Wife,her Sister and my Sister plus the frame-tent and all the clothes and stuff they decided they "needed" for a few days camping stuffed inside the car.The distance from home to the camp